Dancing Fools 9
by Persiana13
Summary: The insanity returns as an insane author subjects the cast of Marvel vs. Capcom 3 in this delightful parody.  Insanity Ensues!
1. Chapter 1

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 1: Guess Who's Back?

Felicia looked around,

"Where are we?"  
>Spider-man shrugged,<p>

"This is the address? This place looks like a tornado hit it. And, I think that's on a good day."

Chun Li groaned,

"Not again! Not this again!"  
>Ryu huddle close to her,<p>

"We barely survived the last one!"

C. Viper shouted,

"That bastard! I lost that disk containing all the information on M. Bison and Shadaloo!" (1)

Wolverine grumbled,

"And, I've barely survived it here on more than one occasion."

Morrigan asked,

"Are you going to tell us what this is all about?"  
>Dormammu cringed,<p>

"That insane fool Persiana13 subjects all of us to a parody of Dancing with the Stars, and humiliates us on national television. There has been a lot of property destruction, and cat-fighting."

Trish raised an eyebrow skeptically,

"You can't be serious. So, where is he?"

Deadpool wandered onto the set,

"Hi, guys!"

Wolverine grumbled,

"We're dead."

The Merc-with-a-mouth grinned,

"Oh, come on! Am I that bad?"  
>Iron Man said,<p>

"Yes, you are."

**Sorry I'm late, guys. Traffic was a brutal nightmare. Someone kept casting spells or something that got in my way. **

Dormammu began whistling innocently as he turned away. The insane author shook his head,

**Whatever. Now, gather around, everyone, because, tonight, we're gonna put on a show no one is going to forget, especially you guys. **

Chun Li grumbled,

"Just get through the names. The sooner we get through this, the sooner I can get out of here."  
><strong>Disappointed about not winning the last time you were here, Chun Li? Too bad! <strong>

The insane author cleared his throat and pulled out a list,

**Now, we're going over the couples that will be performing tonight. But, first, I want to make an announcement; I've selected my co-host for this season of Dancing Fools. X-23, you're my co-host! **

X-23 blinked,

"Are you serious?"  
><strong>For once in my life, yes I am. <strong>

Wolverine unsheathed his claws,

"You better make her decent, or else."

**Wolverine, this is me we're talking about. Trust me. Now, the couples. I've decided to pair up one Marvel star with one Capcom star, to give it that nice symmetry between the games. So, the first couple of the night is…Spider-man and Felicia! **

Felicia squealed,

"Yay!"

She grabbed Spider-man and hugged him,

"We're going to dance!"

Felicia had not realized it, but she was smothering Spider-man with her breasts. Spider-man lay helpless for a few moments, caught in wondrous bliss.

**That's nice. Next on the list is Captain America and Morrigan. **

Morrigan licked her lips sensuously,

"I like it already."

Captain America blinked,

"O-K."  
><strong>Third on the list are Iron Man and Jill. <strong>

There was a distant scream in the back, something akin to a man crying out in pain.

**Next is Arthur and Storm. Then, we have Wolverine and Amaretsu, then Super Skrull and C. Viper. And, finally, Ryu and She-Hulk. **

Chun Li screamed,

"What? You're having a seven foot dumb giantess dance with my man!"

She-Hulk grinned,

"I bet I can show you're man a better time than you, thunder thighs!"

At this, the two fighters went at each other, a cat-fight breaking out. Deadpool whooped,

"All right! Let's begin the taping!"

**Wow, if they're going to be this intense now, just wait until they compete! **

Next Chapter:

The Judges get introduced! Stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 2: Judges and Juries 

**Now, I've decided to mix it up this season. Seeing as how we would normally have three judges for this thing, and considering that either side could easily show some bias, I've decided to institute something called…THE FOURTH JUDGE! **

The voice echoed throughout the room. All the while, everyone just blinked at the insane author. Ryu asked,

"Uh, how are you going to do that?"

**Very simple, Ryu. There will be two judges from Marvel and two judges from Capcom. That way, we'd have a nice balance. I am a believer in universal balance. Don't you? **

Iron Man grumbled,

"Which has somehow immune to you."  
><strong>Oh, come now, Rust Bucket. I like to think of myself as someone who believes in chaos more than order. Besides, would you rather have Deadpool do this thing or me? <strong>

Thor nodded,

"Methinks the lunatic has a point."

Captain America shifted a little when he saw Morrigan eyeing him seductively.

**Now, let's meet our four judges. If this keeps up, we'll have more judges here than in the Supreme Court. **

The chair spun around, revealing the first judge. It was Magneto. He was tied to the chair and shouted,

"NO! NOT AGAIN! I'M TOO YOUNG FOR THIS!"

**If you didn't want to do this, you wouldn't have been in the game in the first place. So shut up. **

The insane author pulls out a mallet and hits Magneto over the head, knocking him out.

**Our second judge for the season is from Capcom. **

The second chair spun around and revealed Viewtiful Joe, reading a comic book. He looked up and, tossing the book aside, jumped on the table and did an awesome pose,

"Oh, yeah! Viewtiful Joe is here!"  
>He then eyed X-23,<p>

"Hey, babe. Wanna get viewtiful later?"

X-23 giggled at that, while Wolverine was one second away from slicing up Viewtiful Joe.

**Hey, hey! You can't kill the judges yet. That's for after the show. Our third judge from the evening is…Deadpool! **

Deadpool pretended to be shocked,

"Seriously? This is an honor!"

A spotlight shone in his direction and he said,

"I want to thank the academy for such a great honor."

Spider-man held his head,

"We're dead."

The fourth judge chair turned, Wesker was tied to it. He glared darkly,

"You spineless worm. When I get out of this, I will show you what a superior life form can do and-."

**Wesker, no one cares what you think. **

The insane author slammed Wesker in the head with a mallet, knocking him out. He then turned and, for apparently no reason, hit Viewtiful Joe.

**Well, that's all the time we have for now. In one week, the show kicks off, so everyone practice and be prepared. If you don't mind, I need to go raid my weapons stash. **

Super Skrull looked at the camera and pleaded,

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE, SOMEONE HELP US!"  
>A sand bag fell on him, knocking him out.<p>

Next Chapter:

The Dancing Begins! Insanity Ensues!


	3. Chapter 3

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 3: It Begins Again! 

Thor grumbled from the stands,

"This is humiliating to a warrior such as myself. How dare this author subject us to this madness?"  
>Spencer nodded,<p>

"I know! What the hell is his problem, anyway?"

Chun Li grumbled,

"I bet right now, She-Hulk is putting on the moves with my man. I HATE YOU, PERSIANA13!"

The Asgardian warrior god shook his head,

"It could be worse."

Doom looked at him,

"How can this be worse? Tell me!"  
>Thor said,<p>

"My clone could be running rampant all over the studio."

The armored dictator blinked and responded,

"It wouldn't be that bad. Think of it this way; we would not have to deal with this insanity if your clone were to run rampant!"

Hsien-Ko smiled,

"I can't wait, honestly! I want to see people dance!"  
>She raised her arms high and dropped them, not realizing she had a megaton weight attached to one of them and it ended up hitting Spencer in the head. Spencer cried out,<p>

"PAIN! I AM IN PAIN!"  
>Hsien-Ko sheepishly said,<p>

"Oh, sorry about that. I get carried away sometimes."  
>Chris shouted,<p>

"Zombie!"  
>He pulled out a shotgun and tried to fire it, but it jammed. While he was attempting to fix it, the undead Darkstalker jumped in his lap, smiling like a little child,<p>

"Hi."  
>Just then, the music began playing and the insane author and X-23 stepped out onto the stage. Laura was dressed in a very form-fitting black dress and high heels. The insane author was dressed in a tuxedo and said,<p>

**Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming to watch the latest season of Dancing Fools, where I subject you all to brutal humiliation and insanity for the sake of ratings. Come to think of it; isn't that what reality TV is all about, anyway? **

X-23 smirked,

"That's right. Now, let's introduce are judges for this evening. Due to the conflicting nature of the show, it was decided to have two judges from Capcom, and two judges from Marvel. First, from Marvel comics…Deadpool!"

Deadpool stood up,

"Yay! First intro! This guy knows what he's doing! If you haven't seen me, you've been living under a rock. I wonder what it's like to live under a rock!"  
>He picked up a boulder and placed it over his head,<p>

"Nope. Nothing."

He tossed the boulder and it ended up hitting Zero as he was walking in. Zero groaned,

"Ow! What the hell, Deadpool?"

X-23 began laughing,

"Nice. Now, for our second Marvel judge for the evening…Magneto!"  
>Magneto, who was tied to the chair, roared,<p>

"PERSIANA13, I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER FOR THIS! I WILL!"  
><strong>I've heard all the promises, but, realize this; if you kill me, my fans will avenge me! <strong>

Spencer mocked,

"What; like all three of them?"  
>At this, the insane author pulled out a bean bag gun and fired it at Spencer, knocking him out. The insane author smirked,<p>

**That's better. Now, to introduce the Capcom judges. First…Viewtiful Joe! **

Viewtiful Joe stood up and struck an action pose, smirking,

"Hey, everyone! To all the girls out there…I'm single and available! I'll make your world…viewtiful!"  
><strong>Truly, truly amazing. And stuff we didn't need to know. Our second Capcom judge of the evening…Wesker! <strong>

Wesker wiggled around in the ropes,

"I demand that you, an inferior life form, release me at once!"  
>Magneto was about to say something when the insane author interrupted,<p>

**Save it for the commercial break, you two. I am not having the whole theory of evolution debated on national television. So, shut up! **

X-23 said,

"Now, our first couple of the evening is going to be Ryu and She-Hulk. They will be doing a very sexy salsa."  
>Wolverine roared from backstage,<p>

"WHAT THE HELL IS MY DAUGHTER WEARING?"  
>Ryu and She-Hulk took to the stage. Both are dressed in salsa clothes and begin dancing. She-Hulk deliberately rubs up against Ryu, thinking he is cute. Ryu attempts to maintain some level of composure as he is dancing, but could feel Chun Li glaring at him, though she could not see him.<p>

It was not until She-Hulk grabbed Ryu's butt that the situation exploded. Chun Li stormed onto the stage with a powerful kick,

"DIE!"

The kick connected and sent She-Hulk flying through the studio wall. The emerald-skinned strongwoman got up and shouted,

"BITCH, PREPARE TO DIE!"  
>She tackled Chun Li, a cat-fight erupting on the set.<p>

**Well, looks like we got kind of a situation over here. **

Deadpool nodded,

"You said it. I give it a nine!"  
>Magneto said,<p>

"The dancing was superb. An eight."

Wesker rolled his eyes,

"Pathetic life forms. Six."

Viewtiful Joe could only stare with his jaw hanging open,

"Ten for the cat-fight!"

**Well, we'll be back after this commercial break. Now, if you'll excuse me; I have a cat-fight to tape! **

X-23 cheered,

"Yeah!"

Next Chapter:

More Dancing insanity!


	4. Chapter 4

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 4: Ballet Wars 

She-Hulk, who was being restrained by her cousin the Hulk, shouted,

"I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU, BITCH!"

Chun Li, who was being held back by Ryu, shot back,

"MY ASS, WOMAN! RYU BELONGS TO ME AND NO ONE ELSE, NOT EVEN THAT SLUT SAKURA!"  
><strong>Hey, there's no need to drag in the rest of the Capcom crowd. We can all agree Sakura is just as much of a slut as you two.<br>**She-Hulk and Chun Li both looked at the insane author, shouting,

"Hey!"

**I just call it like I see it, kiddos. Now, get lost. We've got to get our next couple on the stage pronto. **

Zero said,

"Did someone say proto? As in Protoman?"

**No, Zero. I said pronto. As in, right now, or ASAP. **

Zero asked,

"Who is a sap?"

At this the Maverick Hunter was shot in the head with a bean bag gun, knocking him out.

**God, how did an idiot like him ever get to be a hero? Whatever. **

Magneto held his head,

"For the love of everything that is holy, someone has to kill that man so we can leave! I was traumatized the last time he did this! I can't go through it again!"

The master of magnetism began weeping. Wesker struggled with the ropes,

"I can't get out of these! What did he use?"

Deadpool looked at them,

"Oh, come on! Aren't you excited to see such wonderful talent?"  
>Viewtiful Joe added,<p>

"And cat-fights!"  
>Deadpool grinned,<p>

"That too!"

Magneto rolled his eyes,

"Wade, only an insane nut like you could ever find any talent with any of these idiots."

**Hey! **

Magneto added,

"I stand corrected. Both you and the insane host of this show can come up with this sort of thing."

**That's better. Now, tonight, we're having another couple grace or blunder on stage, depending on how they do. More than likely; blunder. **

Iron Man walked out,

"Hey, what is this?"  
>He looked down and saw he was dressed in skin-tight clothing.<p>

**Tonight, Iron Man and Jill will be performing ballet. **

Iron Man shouted,

"You can't make me do this!"

**You're under contract. I own your ass! Not that I want to, mind you. Why would I want to own somebody's backside like that? That's just creepy. Well, here we go! **

Jill walked out in a tutu and the two of them began to dance. Both demonstrate surprising grace, especially from Jill when she raises her leg really high. It all looks to be going smoothly until…

Chris marched onto the stage, shouting,

"Jill, what are you doing?"

Jill folded her arms,

"Back off, Chris. We were just dancing."

Chris looked at Iron Man,

"You bastard! You're trying to take her from me!"

Iron Man said,

"Now, hold on a minute-."

Before Iron Man could get another word out, Chris pulled out a shotgun and fired it at Iron Man. Iron Man took the full hit and, seeing his metal armor was slightly scratched, looked at Chris. He had a menacing tone to his voice as he said,

"Start running, Chris."

Iron Man launched a uni-beam attack and began chasing Chris all around the stage. Chris shouted,

"Don't worry, Jill! I'll kick this guy's ass for hurting you!"

Jill just looked in bewilderment before saying,

"That's it. I am officially giving up guys."

She walked away off stage.

X-23 blinked,

"Wow, I did not see that coming. Well, let's go to our judges and ask for the scores."

Magneto laughed,

"It is always fun to watch two humans kill each other. Nine!"

Wesker joined in,

"Chris completely deserves to be dumped by his bimbo girlfriend. Nine!"

Viewtiful Joe declared,

"Nine!"  
>Deadpool nodded,<p>

"I second the nine!"

X-23 smirked,

"36 points. Good score, good score. Well, when we return, there will be more dancing insanity. Stay tuned!"

Next Chapter:

The dancing insanity continues! Stay tuned!


	5. Chapter 5

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 5: Stormy Knights 

**Well, this is certainly becoming an interesting show. **

Deadpool nodded,

"Yeah!"

Zero, who had recovered from being unconscious, held his head,

"What the hell is wrong with you? I never took this much abuse from battling Sigma!"  
><strong>Boo-hoo. Cry me a river, blondie. <strong>

X-23 giggled at that,

"By the way, thanks for the dress."  
>Wolverine shouted from backstage,<p>

"You're dead, Persiana13! I swear it!"  
><strong>Why does everyone keep threatening to kill me? The fans love this type of humor. <strong>

Wesker groaned,

"Just get to the next couple already. I can't stand being here any more than I have to be."

Magneto looked panicked,

"You think you've got it bad? This is my third time here!"

Deadpool laughed,

"Sixth! Take that!"  
>Taskmaster stormed onto the set,<p>

"WADE, YOU OWE ME TEN BUCKS!"

**Is that true? Is there gambling going on around here that I don't know about? **

Deadpool said,

"Yes, there was. Tasky and I were betting money that Jill would go through on her promise to give up guys. And he's here to collect."  
><strong>Taskmaster, you are unbelievable. <strong>

Taskmaster said,

"What, that I bet on Jill liking girls?"  
><strong>No, there was a bet and I didn't make the odds, or get a cut of the winnings. <strong>

Taskmaster shrugged,

"I could tape it."

**You do that. Now, let's meet the next couple of the night. **

X-23 nodded,

"Right, so, we've got Arthur and Storm next. A knight and a goddess."

She then looked at the insane author,

"You wrote these lines?"

Deadpool said,

"If you think that's bad, check out the lines I had to recite in some of his other works. Dude, where do you come up with this stuff?"

**Whatever. Let's get Arthur and Storm on the set. **

Arthur, dressed in his armor, and Storm, dressed in a flowing dress, took the stage. X-23 said,

"Tonight, Arthur and Storm will be dancing the Foxtrot."

As the two began dancing, Arthur is dancing surprisingly gracefully for a guy dressed in a suit of armor. Storm is also dancing well, seemingly floating across the dance floor. Magneto cautiously waved his hand and, as soon as he did, the armor fell off of Arthur, revealing only his boxers.

Everyone begins laughing. Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe fall out of their seats howling. Arthur looked around, roaring,

"WHO DID THIS? HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH ME?"  
><strong>It was Magneto, Arthur. <strong>

Arthur, enraged, pulled out a large sword and began swinging at Magneto,

"PREPARE TO DIE!"  
>Magneto began running for his life,<p>

"HELP! MY MAGENTIC POWERS DO NOTHING!"  
>X-23 continued to laugh,<p>

"That is too much! Let's go to the judges!"

Wesker was clutching his sides,

"Nine! I can't believe it! Arthur has little red hearts on his underwear!"

Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe said in unison,

"Ten!"

Magneto shouted,

"Seven! It wasn't that good!"

Storm roared,

"WHAT?"  
>She pulled out an axe and helped Arthur chase Magneto down.<p>

X-23 smiled,

"Well, 36 points! That's really good. When we return, we'll have more dancing, and more insanity! Stay tuned!"

Next Chapter:

The Insanity continues!


	6. Chapter 6

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. _

Chapter 6: Two to Tango 

**Now, ladies and gentlemen-. **

A cell phone rang at that moment. The insane author said,

**Hold on a minute. **

The call was answered,

**Yes? Oh, come on! Again! **

Magneto said,

"Thank God this thing is interrupted."

**I heard that! Now let me finish this conversation. **

A few seconds go by,

**What do you mean; the helper monkeys are working for you now? What, they're under contract? With who? You guys are bastards, you know that! **

The cell phone was slammed against a wall,

**My helper monkeys all left to go to Wisconsin! **

Wesker blinked,

"Why would that do that?"

Deadpool smacked Wesker in the back of the head,

"You idiot! You don't know what's going on in Wisconsin? Where have you been?"

**It's the union thing, and, all my helper monkeys went to join the protest, along with other members of the monkey unions, like the banana pickers, the circus unions, and even the King Kong look-alike club is getting involved. **

X-23 blinked,

"Wait, that last one isn't a union. And, don't the helper monkeys just sit around and eat bananas and cause destruction all day?"

**Hey, they work really hard to contribute to my shows! **

Wesker said,

"Translation; you have them write your scripts while you lounge around on your fat ass all day eating."

**I happen to be losing weight, you know! **

Chun Li scoffed off camera,

"Yeah, like half a pound."

**Up yours, Chun Li! You can't imagine how much stress this is putting me under. **

X-23 asked,

"But, what about the monkeys?"

**Can you stop thinking about the monkeys for one second? Can you imagine how bad this is for me and my career? **

Viewtiful Joe shouted,

"NNNOOO!"  
>He then looked down,<p>

"What were we talking about?"

**Forget it. I'm going to go get my helper monkeys back by any means necessary. **

The insane author pulls out a brief case containing the War Machine armor. He dons it and flies through the roof, causing a big piece of it to fall on top of Viewtiful Joe. Joe groaned,

"Ow! What the hell?"

X-23 shrugged,

"Well, that was an interesting development. I guess the show's about me now. So, let's bring out our next couple of the night; Super Skrull and C. Viper."

There was an unusual silence as X-23 looked backstage,

"I said, Super Skrull and C. Viper!"

The clone put her hands on her hips,

"Now, what is taking them so long?"

She then spied a remote,

"Oh, I wonder what does this do?"

She pressed a button and giant screen was lowered. She pressed another button and the screen turned on. X-23 and the audience then saw C. Viper and Super Skrull…passionately kissing each other. Also, both of them were naked and Super Skrull was clearly demonstrating some advantages of being a shape-shifter. The audience and judges stared in shock. X-23 fumbled the remote, and turned on a special two way microphone.

Let's just say the language was not for the faint of heart, and the couple had no idea they were being watched until Spencer shouted,

"Booyah, Skrully!"

At this, the two stopped and both looked around. C. Viper shouted,

"What's going on? Who's watching us?"

She then spied the camera and Viewtiful Joe did a pose,

"That's really….VIEWTIFUL!"

C. Viper screamed and ran out of where she was. Of course, she tripped as soon as she stepped out of the room and fell unconscious. Super Skrull was blushing hotly and asked,

"Are you bleeding?"

A moment passed by as he nodded,

"Yeah, you're bleeding."

X-23 shrugged,

"Well, I guess those two are out of the competition. Well, when we return from commercials, we'll have more dancing."

Magneto shouted,

"For the love of God, stop sponsoring this show!"

He was then hit in the head by X-23, who only looked at the camera and smiled innocently.

Next Chapter:  
>More Dancing Insanity!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 7: Breaking Rhythm 

X-23 smiled,

"Now, that we're back, we can continue the show!"  
>Magneto held his head,<p>

"Wolverine, are you sure this is a clone of you? Are you sure this isn't a clone of Deadpool? She's driving us all insane!"  
>Deadpool said,<p>

"Hey, don't bring me into this! I'm already involved as the judge!"  
>X-23 just giggled as Viewtiful Joe tried to flirt with her. However, this did not go as well as Joe would have thought, and ended up getting hit in the head with a mallet. X-23 tossed the mallet aside, hitting something fragile. She then sat on the table and said,<p>

"Now, introducing the next couple of the evening…Spider-man and Felicia!"

Spider-man came on the stage,

"Hey, guys."

Felicia came right behind him and curled up next to him,

"Hi!"

She purred delightfully as she tightened her body close to Spider-man. Both of them were dressed in hip-hop clothing. X-23 said,

"Tonight, Spider-man and Felicia are going to break dance."

As Spider-man and Felicia began doing their dance, they pushed their agility to the maximum their bodies could tolerate, bending, twisting, and performing dazzling feats of balance, flexibility, and strength, while dancing to the hip-hop beat. The judges, as well as many of the audience members, were in awe at how much control the two of them had over their bodies. It would have no doubt been a perfect performance, but there was one problem.

They had been dancing around each other for so long, that, somehow, Spider-man and Felicia got tangled up into each other, their limbs and bodies contorting inhumanly. They lay in a heap on the floor, and, from what everyone saw, it was a very provocative position. X-23 smiled,

"Wow, I had no idea they wanted to re-invent the Kama Sutra."

Magneto composed himself, swallowing nervously,

"That was…that was…"  
>Viewtiful Joe stood up and posed,<p>

"VIEWTIFUL, BABY!"  
>Deadpool looked at everyone,<p>

"Can we agree to give him a perfect score?"

There was a resounding ten from each of the judges. X-23 blinked,

"Wow, that was interesting."

Felicia cheered,

"We're in first place! Yay!"

She then looked around,

"Can someone help us get untangled, please? We're kind of stuck."

X-23 shrugged and kicked them. The dancing couple formed a ball and was rolling off the set. The clone then looked at the camera,

"Well, it looks like Spider-man and Felicia are in the lead. When we return, another couple graces the stage and, hopefully, the insane author will have brought the helper monkeys back!"

Next Chapter:

The Dancing Insanity Continues!


	8. Chapter 8

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 8: Rum Tango 

Thor looked up at the title,

"What does that mean?"

Deadpool said,

"It means Cap and Morrigan are on next."

X-23 whined,

"No fair! I wanted to be the one that tells the audience that!"

Wesker rolled his eyes,

"Come on. Do you honestly think people are so stupid, that they don't get the reference?"

Viewtiful Joe looked up,

"Uh, guys? What does that title mean?"

Wesker groaned and held his head,

"I stand corrected. Some people are this stupid."  
>Viewtiful Joe snapped,<p>

"Hey! Who are you calling stupid, you Matrix-reject?"

Magneto laughed,

"He has you there, Wesker."

Chris could be heard laughing from backstage. Wesker shouted,

"At least I am not dating a trashy bimbo!"

Jill roared,

"HEY! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"  
>She marched onto the set, but X-23 held her back,<p>

"No, no! We can't have any fighting, at least, not until we get through this show."

Hulk said,

"Or until show gets canceled. It doesn't matter to the Hulk."

Spencer looked at him,

"Don't you ever get tired of referring yourself in the third person? It's kind of annoying."

Hulk shouted,

"You laugh at Hulk? HULK SMASH!"  
>He picked up Spencer and threw him through a wall. Modok grumbled,<p>

"That's going to cost an arm and a leg to fix."

Magneto laughed,

"In that case, Spencer has already paid half!"  
>The others chortled. X-23 shook her head,<p>

"All right, all right. Let's get on with it before my boss comes back with his helper monkeys. Tonight, Captain America and Morrigan will be dancing…the tango!"  
>Captain America walked out on the set, dressed in a suit,<p>

"I want to lodge a complaint."

Morrigan slipped right behind him, dressed in an extremely scandalous outfit,

"What is there to complain about, handsome? We're together, aren't we?"

Deadpool grinned,

"Oh, this is going to be good."  
>As the dance commenced, Morrigan was already attempting to turn the dance into an X-rated experience for Captain America. Cap tried to compose himself as best he could, in hopes that the dance would end quickly and his clothes would still be on his body. He did not want to harm the innocence of children.<p>

Of course, that did happen when Trish marched onto the stage,

"What the hell, you bitch?"  
>She slapped Morrigan across the face hard. Morrigan touched her face and scowled,<p>

"What was that for?"

Trish screamed,

"You slept with my Dante!"  
>Deadpool clapped his hand,<p>

"Now, this is getting good."

Morrigan huffed,

"So what if I did! I was ten times better in bed than you were! He even told me so!"

Dante came on stage,

"What? I never said that!"  
>Trish glared,<p>

"Is that true?"

Dante shook his head, declaring his innocence,

"No! Of course not!"  
>Morrigan coyly remarked,<p>

"You weren't saying that when I had you chained up."

Cap admonished her,

"Morrigan, there are children watching!"  
>Morrigan looked at X-23 and then back at Cap,<p>

"She's old enough to know what we're talking about."

X-23 blinked,

"What are we talking about anyway?"

Trish shouted,

"Morrigan sleeping with my man!"  
>She dove at Morrigan, a cat-fight erupting. The judges, as well as most of the men, with the exception of Captain America, began cheering and cat-calling. Cap rolled his eyes,<p>

"And I fought in wars for this."

Magneto looked at the other judges,

"Can we all agree on a perfect score, just because of the cat-fight?"

Wesker said,

"Thirty-nine out of forty."

Viewtiful Joe beamed,

"Right! Thirty-nine!"

X-23 clapped her hands excitedly,

"Yay! Now, stay tuned; we've got one more couple that needs to dance off!"

Next Chapter:  
>The dancing insanity continues!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 9: Wolf Worries 

Deadpool smirked,

"Looks like we're approaching the end of the show. We've got one more couple to get through."

Magneto groaned,

"Thank God! I can't bear to be here any more! I'll gladly give up my world dominating ways if I could just escape!"

Wesker looked at him skeptically,

"You're really not going to, are you?"

Magneto shrugged,

"It was worth a shot."

Spencer said,

"So, who's the last couple?"

Deadpool said,

"Dude, haven't you been paying any attention to what's been going on? It's Wolverine and Amaretsu! Or, as I'd like to call them, Wolvie and his high class bitch!"

X-23 rolled her eyes,

"Nice one, Wade."

Deadpool grinned underneath his mask,

"Oh, come on! How many of us have thought about saying that joke? In all honesty, how many? Raise your hand!"  
>Spencer and Taskmaster both raised their hands. Taskmaster wanted to say something, but a heated stare from X-23 prevented him from doing so. She said,<p>

"Hey, this is about me hosting! I have to carry the show as a certain insane author has decided that enslaving his helper monkeys is more important than his hosting duties!"

Deadpool snickered,

"You said duty!"

Viewtiful Joe struck a pose,

"Viewtiful, baby!"

X-23 groaned,

"Let's just get the dancing done with, please? I'd like to leave and keep this dress before the guy comes back."

Wolverine marched on stage,

"Oh, no you don't! You maybe my clone, but you're still my daughter, and you ain't wearing that!"

Amaretsu came on, walking on her hind legs. She barked at Wolverine and Wolverine grumbled,

"Yeah, yeah. I heard ya. Let's dance already."

X-23 cleared her throat and said,

"Tonight, Wolverine and Amaretsu will be dancing…the Waltz!"

As the couple was about to dance, Deadpool called out,

"Hey, Wolvie! Your bitch looks hot tonight!"

Amaretsu snarled and, taking to all fours, jumped over the judges' table and began mauling Deadpool. Deadpool shouted,

"Hey, what is this? I'm the one getting mauled over here? I'm Deadpool! My fans will hear of this! Don't think this isn't over?"

Viewtiful looked down and winced,

"Oh, that is going to hurt."

A loud tear was heard and Deadpool screamed,

"AAHH! THAT WAS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME! HELP!"

X-23 blinked and said,

"Wow, I never thought I'd say this, but I feel sorry for Deadpool."

Wolverine said,

"Why should you feel sorry for him?"  
>X-23 said,<p>

"Well, he is Deadpool, Marvel's premier property."

She then blinked,

"Oh, crap! I'm breaking the fourth wall too!"

Magneto rolled his eyes,

"Forget this, we're not giving a number to this. It's just not worth the effort!"

Amaretsu growled when she heard that and dove after Magneto. Magneto then screamed,

"HELP! GET THIS CRAZY BITCH OFF OF ME!"  
>Deadpool laughed,<p>

"Hah! I'll be up and around in no time."

He looked down,

"Can someone scratch my back? I lost my arms in the mauling."

Next Chapter:

The Dancing Concludes!


	10. Chapter 10

**Dancing Fools 9 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 10: Coming to a Close 

X-23 was smiling in front of the camera,

"Well, that's all the time we have for this evening. Be sure to be with us-."

Before she could continue, a group of small monkeys ran through the set. The insane author was pursuing them with a net and a shotgun, shouting,

**You stupid monkeys get back in your cages and help me write my shows! I'll make sure you never work again if you don't! I have fans! **

Magneto called out,

"No! Don't listen to him, helper monkeys! Run! Be free!"

This earned the Master of Magnetism a hit with a mallet. Wesker shook his head,

"Idiot human."  
>Magneto shook his head, recovering from the blow, and glared at Wesker,<p>

"Who are you calling a human? I happen to a mutant, a superior form of life."

Wesker rolled his eyes,

"My ass is a superior form of life, more so than you!"

Magneto shouted,

"DIE!"  
>The two of them began brawling, rolling on the floor and trying to kill each other. Deadpool had a camera,<p>

"Oh, this is so going on my page! I love it!"  
>Viewtiful posed,<p>

"It's VIEWTIFUL!"  
>Thor groaned,<p>

"Thank the gods this is over! Now, can we please leave?"

She-Hulk and Chun Li rolled by on the stage, still in their cat-fight. Ryu shook his head,

"I did not need this now."

Akuma towered above him,

"Fight me, Ryu. I must defeat you in combat."

At this, She-Hulk and Chun Li stopped fighting, saw Ryu and Akuma, and both of them attacked Akuma. Chun Li shouted,

"No one messes with my Ryu!"

C. Viper was frantically on the phone,

"Get me out of here! You don't know where I am? Have you been watching the TV? Yes, on THAT show! What do you mean there's a no fly-zone around here? Who said that?"

X-23 looked on at the random destruction and insanity that was occurring and shrugged,

"Wow, and I thought things were crazy when I work with X-force. They actually seem normal compared to this."

End of Dancing Fools 9


End file.
